The following story written by A.M. Justice is from our recently released anthology
It Came From The Comment Section!
Illustration CREDIT
Ghost Friend
By A.M. Justice
PERSONAL MESSAGE
Mar 23
From: Sharon Cooper
U OK?
Melanie?
Alright?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
It’s ALL RIGHT, goddammit. Two words.
From: Sharon Cooper
OK, Grammar Nazi. You’re in a mood. What’s up?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
My blood pressure is sky high right now.
From: Sharon Cooper
Deep breaths
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I know, I know. Those…assholes! Won’t listen, just roll right over you. Might as well talk to a fucking wall.
From: Sharon Cooper
Why do you engage?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I swore I wouldn’t. My doctor told me not to. Shit, I’m wearing an ambulatory BP cuff right now too. He’s going to flip out when he sees my numbers this week. I don’t want another BP med.
From: Sharon Cooper
You don’t HAVE to take them, you know.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I’ve got one foot in the grave now—that’s what it feels like.
From: Sharon Cooper
I think you need a break from the Internet.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Ya think? Jesus, I can’t get over how stupid people are.
From: Sharon Cooper
There is no point in arguing with strangers on the Internet. They don’t listen, they won’t change, and you’ll only get yourself into a tizzy.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I know. God I tell myself this every day. I’ll just go have a look at what my friends are doing while I drink my coffee. No big deal, then I’ll get to work. Then I see something stupid. I’ve been trying to school myself to ignore these posts, but today I just couldn’t.
Argh, the idiot just replied again. COMPLETELY ignoring my points.
From: Sharon Cooper
Don’t engage! DO NOT ENGAGE!
From: Melanie Wordsworth
OH! Look what he wrote. Goddamn these fucking people and their hubris. It’s because of them and their self-righteous shit that we’re in the shitcan that we’re in.
From: Sharon Cooper
What thread are you on anyway?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
…
Oh, never mind. You’re right, I need a break from this place.
Mar 25
From: Sharon Cooper
Mel, where are you? I haven’t heard from you in two days.
Apr 4
From: Sharon Cooper
Melanie, are you OK? It’s been more than a week, and I’m getting worried. I’ve seen some odd posts on your wall. Were you hacked?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Sorry. I’m all right. I had to go look after my mother and she doesn’t have any Internet.
From: Sharon Cooper
What? Who doesn’t have Internet?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
My mother. The woman is 93 years old. The only reason she has cable is because the TV won’t work without it. I think she was the last person in America who had rabbit ears. She only watches one channel anyway.
From: Sharon Cooper
You haven’t been down in a while. How is she?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Hell, she’s fine. She’ll probably outlive me. I went to my doctor and sure enough, he’s added a beta blocker. That makes 3 BP meds I’m on now.
From: Sharon Cooper
Sorry. I hope it’s making you feel better.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I’ve already fainted once. Beta blockers do that.
From: Sharon Cooper
Shit! Are you OK?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Yeah, I’m fine. My mother called a neighbor for help. It was embarrassing, mostly, to go take care of a 93-year-old woman, and she’s the one picking you up off the floor.
From: Sharon Cooper
I hope you got a laugh out of it.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I guess it was good to be away from the things o’ man for a few days.
From: Sharon Cooper
You live on top of a mountain in Idaho, gurl! Aren’t you ALWAYS away from the things o’ man?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Ha, yeah, I guess. There are a lot of kooks in Sun Valley, though.
From: Sharon Cooper
I thought your town had a lot of artists and such?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Like I said, kooks. 😉
From: Sharon Cooper
Ha ha. You have to learn how to ignore the people who make you crazy.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Why should *I* ignore them?
From: Sharon Cooper
Because you’re older and wiser.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Someone has to teach them.
From: Sharon Cooper
You cannot teach anyone anything over the Internet. As you always say, all they’re interested in is parroting the opinions of the people they already agree with.
Kind of like us, if you think about it.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Well, WE listen to reason, my friend.
From: Sharon Cooper
True. J Oh, sorry, but I have to go make dinner now.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
- Later.
Apr 18
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I am shaking with RAGE right now.
From: Sharon Cooper
What, what?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
You know how I took a week off? And how I promised myself I’d stay off the twit box and the face place and keep away from the shit that sends my BP up in the air? I thought I could do it. I really did.
From: Sharon Cooper
Oh no. What happened?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
This friend tagged me, so I went on to look at the picture, and in my feed was this meme from Emily, and I went off. I totally lost my shit.
From: Sharon Cooper
Where? Let me look. Maybe it’s not that bad.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
It’s that bad.
From: Sharon Cooper
Crap, I can’t see it. I forgot, Emily blocked me.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
She BLOCKED you? She blocked YOU!?!!!
From: Sharon Cooper
IKR?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
You’re the most civil person left on the Internet. What the hell did you do?
From: Sharon Cooper
<shrug> Heck if I know. I guess my snark got the better of me one day because next I knew, she seemed to have unfriended me. I couldn’t see her posts anymore.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Oh, somebody’s typing on the thread right now. It’s her. Annnndd, it’s self-righteous, of course. OF COURSE it is.
From: Sharon Cooper
I am puzzled why she doesn’t block you.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I think she’s hoping to make me a better person.
From: Sharon Cooper
And not me? I’m NICE. 😛
From: Melanie Wordsworth
She gets extra heaven points for the hard cases.
From: Sharon Cooper
Ha! 😀 Feel better now?
From: Melanie Wordsworth
I do.
From: Sharon Cooper
BTW, I keep meaning to ask you about some weird posts on your wall. Did you get hacked? You should check with the admins.
From: Melanie Wordsworth
What weird posts?
From: Sharon Cooper
Let me fetch an example.
This one, about vote tampering. You didn’t post that.
http://true-facts.com/10000-illegals-found-on-Idaho-voter-logs
Oh, and jeezus: True Facts—really? Talk about redundant. <eye roll>
From: Melanie Wordsworth
Oh, hey, I gotta go. Later.
From: Sharon Cooper
OK, cya.
Apr 22
From: Sharon Cooper
Mel, you around?
Apr 23
From: Sharon Cooper
Hey Mel, there’s a green dot next to your name. You on?
…
Are you there? I’m getting the typing thing, but then no response appears.
Mel?
April 24, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
How are you?
Hey, Melanie. Just checking in via email, since you haven’t answered my PMs. Hope everything’s OK. Write back when you can.
Sharon
May 10, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Fwd: How are you?
Hi Melanie. It’s been two weeks. Is everything OK? I’m still seeing odd posts on your wall. Not the kind of thing I expect from you. Let me know.
Sharon
See More from Sharon Cooper
May 11, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Re: How are you?
Hi Melanie. Are you OK? I can’t see your page anymore—it seems like you blocked me, but I can’t imagine why. I asked Joe and he said there’s new stuff there, but it’s all super weird—a lot about Eastern Europe and migrants from Myanmar. Myanmar? I really think your page was hacked.
Maybe you’re taking another break from the Internet—that’s cool, I hope it’s what you’re doing, but you should change your password. Are you at your mom’s? Please let me know you’re OK.
Worried about you,
Sharon
See More from Sharon Cooper
PERSONAL MESSAGE
May 14
From: Sharon Cooper
Hey, Joe, can you still see Melanie’s posts?
From: Joe Torres
Let me look.
Yep, I can see her wall.
Yikes!
From: Sharon Cooper
What? What’s there?
From: Joe Torres
Ugh, the usual. Blue lives matter, American flags, a video about kids and guns.
From: Sharon Cooper
Usual? It is NOT like her to post that stuff.
From: Joe Torres
I always just ignore her posts on her main wall.
From: Sharon Cooper
I think she’s been hacked. Have you interacted with her?
From: Joe Torres
She hasn’t been in the scifi group much lately, and you know me, I’m not gonna fight with people over the stuff they post on their own wall.
From: Sharon Cooper
You’re the only man on the Interwebs who refrains, Joe.
From: Joe Torres
Sexist! 😛
From: Sharon Cooper
I calls em like I sees em.
From: Joe Torres
Possession of a penis and human decency are not mutually exclusive, my friend.
From: Sharon Cooper
If you say so. 😉
Just kidding. I’m going to report Mel’s wall. There’s something fishy going on. Can you snag the URL for her page for me?
From: Joe Torres
You sure? Seems kinda like a dick move to report her.
From: Sharon Cooper
I don’t have a dick, mister. No, really, I’m worried about her. Can you just grab the URL and PM it?
From: Joe Torres
OK, but later. I just heard a big crash from the kids’ room. cya
REPORT SOMETHING
May 14
- Someone Pretending to Be a Friend
Details:
To Whom It May Concern,
My friend Melanie Wordsworth has been behaving very strangely lately, with posts that are completely unlike her. I believe her account was hacked. Please look into it. I can’t give you the URL for her page because the impersonator has blocked me, but I believe the email she uses for her account is Melaniew4589@gmail.com.
Activity
Your report
To Whom It May Concern,
My friend Melanie Wordsworth has been behaving …
Our reply
Your feedback will be used to improve our site. Thank you for taking the time to make a report.
Please Rate Your Experience
Very unhappy Unhappy Satisfied Happy Very happy
- Unhappy
Details:
I hope you’re taking this warning seriously. With everything that’s been going on lately, I think someone’s account being hacked—or worse—should be of grave concern to you. I’m worried about my friend.
Activity
Your report
I hope you’re taking this warning seriously…
Our reply
Your feedback will be used to improve our site. Thank you for taking the time to make a report.
Please Rate Your Experience
Very unhappy Unhappy Satisfied Happy Very happy
- Very unhappy
Details:
It’s been 2 weeks and nothing has changed about my friend’s page. She has blocked me but other mutual friends tell me it’s the same, and very extreme. Please make sure it is really her. In the meantime I’m going to contact the police.
Our reply
Your feedback will be used to improve our site. Thank you for taking the time to make a report.
Please Rate Your Experience
Very unhappy Unhappy Satisfied Happy Very happy
June 2, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: info@BlaineCountySheriff.gov
Melanie Wordsworth – missing person?
Dear Sheriff,
I’m following up on a call I made yesterday regarding the safety of Melanie Wordsworth, residing at 4589 Route 142 NW, Sun Valley, ID. I’ve never met her in person but we had become good friends on the Internet. We PM’d each other almost daily, until about two months ago, when she blocked me. Meanwhile her Internet posts have become very strange and wholly unlike her. I’ve been unable to reach her by telephone or email, so I think something may have happened to her. Could you please let me know if you found her in good health?
Thank you,
Sharon Cooper
June 3, 2018
From: lmackie@BlaineCountySheriff.gov
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth – missing person?
Dear Ms. Cooper,
The deputy visited the residence in question and didn’t find anybody at home. There didn’t seem to be any evidence of foul play. If you want a copy of the incident report, you can fill out the attached form and mail it to our office with a check for $7, to cover processing and postage.
Lucille Mackie
Clerk
Blaine County Sheriff’s Office
Sun Valley, ID
See More from Sharon Cooper
June 7, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: emilysackett@firstbaptist.st-louis.org
Worried about Melanie Wordsworth – please respond
Dear Emily,
I apologize for contacting you this way. I had your email from the recipe exchange we did a few years back. Anyhow, I was wondering if you’d heard from Melanie Wordsworth. Her posts have become very unlike her in recent months, and she’s blocked a lot of her old friends, or doesn’t respond to them. I just want to verify she’s OK.
Sincerely,
Sharon
June 15, 2018
From: emilysackett@firstbaptist.st-louis.org
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Worried about Melanie Wordsworth – please respond
Hi Sharon.
Nice to hear from you. I tried to send you a PM, but I can’t see you anymore for some reason.
Anyhow, I haven’t had any contact with Melanie. Sorry I can’t be more help, but I’ll pray for you both.
Love,
Emily
See More from Sharon Cooper
LETTER, POSTMARKED BROOKLYN, NY
July 10, 2018
Mrs. Bertram Wordsworth
245 Harrison Court
Tucson, AZ
Dear Mrs. Wordsworth,
I am a friend of your daughter Melanie, and I am writing to you because I have been unable to reach her in the past several months. Melanie and I have never met in person, but we had become good friends in various online forums (on the Internet). In any case, shortly after Melanie came to visit you last April, her online behavior changed and then she stopped answering my communiques.
I am sorry to trouble you with this personal matter, but my first concern is for Melanie’s health and safety. Is she OK? Any information you can share with me would be very much appreciated. My phone number is 718-555-4273.
Sincerely,
Sharon Cooper
LETTER, POSTMARKED TUCSON, AZ
July 26, 2018
Dear Sherry,
What a lovely surprise to hear from one of Melanie’s friends. She never calls me and only stays a few days when she visits, which isn’t as often as it should be when your mother is 93 years old. I still get around town. Did Melanie tell you I passed my test at the DMV? Can you imagine, those people making a woman my age take a driving test? I said to that young man, “I was driving before your mother was born!” I passed with flying colors, though, and the young man told me I could keep driving so long as I didn’t go out at night. I never do that, so it’s all right.
So I live pretty well here in Tucson. Bertram and I moved down here from Sun Valley about fifteen years ago. Bertram passed away five years ago. Did Melanie tell you? She moved me to this retirement community afterward. It’s a nice enough place, I guess. They take care of the yard for me, although I fight with them about the flower beds. They say there isn’t enough water for my roses, but I’m not going to give up my roses! I take care of those myself, even though I have to go outside with a pitcher full of water to keep them alive. I have to do my gardening early in the morning because it gets so hot here. Have you ever been to Tucson? I miss the snow sometimes. We moved here because Bertram slipped on some ice and broke his hip, and I like not having to worry about that, but I still miss my mountain home. Melanie lives in the house now. I hope she’s good care of it.
It’s very hot here right now. I don’t like to run the air conditioner more than I have to. Maybe that’s why Melanie doesn’t visit that often. She always complains it’s too hot.
It’s nice to hear from one of her friends. If you talk to her, tell her to call her mother.
Sincerely,
Mimi Wordsworth
LETTER, POSTMARKED BROOKLYN, NY
August 5, 2018
Dear Mrs. Wordsworth,
Thank you speaking with me on the phone last week, and for introducing me to your attorney. She and I had a lovely phone conversation the other day, and I feel better knowing she’s on the case.
I hope we both hear from Melanie soon.
Sincerely,
Sharon
August 7, 2018
From: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Cooper,
I was able to reach Melanie Wordsworth and spoke to her myself. I regret to inform you that she does not wish further contact with you. Please cease and desist communication with her.
Respectfully,
Nancy Johnston, Esq.
Probate Attorney
Tucson Lawyers, LLC
LETTER, POSTMARKED BROOKLYN, NY
August 12, 2018
Dear Melanie,
I don’t know if it’s you or someone else who has blocked me on the Internet. I don’t understand what’s happened—I thought we were friends, and then all of a sudden, you start acting weird and blocking people. I was worried so I looked up your mother and contacted her to see if she’d heard from you. She said you haven’t called her since you visited in April, but she also says that’s not unusual. I like your mom, by the way. She’s prone to wander off topic, and I can see how that would drive you crazy if you had to spend a lot of time with her, but all in all she’s lovely and pretty sharp considering her age. I think she misses you.
Your mother put me in touch with her lawyer, and I guess the lawyer got ahold of you because she told me you said not to contact you. I would respect your wishes—you know I would—if I heard this from you. Please call me. I’d like to understand why you’ve broken things off, but more than that I just want to verify that you’re you, and you’re OK. I mean, we’ve talked about how you’re out there in Idaho, and there are all those survivalists and homeschoolers in the hills. I don’t want to sound elitist, but you’re the one who used to post stuff about your crazy neighbors. If something’s happened to change your views about things, I’ll understand, but again, please just let me know it’s really you.
Really worried,
Sharon
August 22, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Please get in touch with me
Hi Melanie.
I sent you a letter via snail mail. Did you get it? I spoke to your mom again, and she said she called, but you didn’t pick up. I think she’s worried now too.
I just want to know why you’ve cut me off. I’m really struggling to believe that the smart, funny, irascible woman I’ve known for five years online would just suddenly stop speaking to me, with no explanation. Obviously if the person reading this isn’t Melanie—that’s one explanation. Mel, if it is you, all I ask is that you respond and let me know you’re OK.
Still worried about you,
Sharon
August 22, 2018
From: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Please get in touch with me
It is I. Do not contact me again. My mother also.
See More from Sharon Cooper
August 22, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Re: Please get in touch with me
“It is I”?? Mel, you may be a stickler for grammar but I’ve never seen you use the nominative case before. Remember we had that discussion about how pretentious it is to say, “it is I” instead of “it’s me.”
Call me, so I know it really is you.
See More from Melanie Wordsworth
August 22, 2018
From: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Please get in touch with me
It’s me. Goodbye.
See More from Sharon Cooper
August 24, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Re: Please get in touch with me
Mel,
I don’t know what to say. If it really is you, can you tell me what I did wrong? For the past five years we’ve been so close—you’ve become like a sister to me. It’s the weirdest thing to know someone so well, or think you do, when you only ever communicate by typing words at them, but I feel like we really connected, and those few times we talked on the phone, it’s always been as if we’ve known each other our whole lives. I loved our PM convos. When something would be going on in the threads, and you’d PM me some sarcastic remark, it would be the highlight of my day. And how many times have we cried on each other’s shoulders about something that happened in real life? It’s never mattered to me that the shoulder was virtual—I’m closer to you than anyone in my life, including my own family.
I wish I knew how to express how strong my feelings are, which might make you understand why I’m so baffled and hurt by this situation. I don’t want to scare you—god knows I’ve scared off other people by revealing intense emotions—but the fact is, Mel, I love you. You have been the rock in my life for the past several years, one I’ve counted on being there. If I’ve taken you for granted, I’m sorry. I never meant to.
Mel, if this is you, please call me. I just want to understand what’s going on. Even if your views on things have changed, I still care deeply about you. You’re still my best friend, online and in real life.
S
See More from Melanie Wordsworth
August 24, 2018
From: Postmaster@mac.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Delivery Notification: Delivery has failed
This report relates to a message you sent with the following header fields:
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2018 16:42:36 -0400
From: Sharon Cooper <doublescooper@me.com>
To: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Subject: Please get in touch with me
Your message cannot be delivered to the following recipients:
Recipient address: Melaniew4589@gmail.com
Reason: Remote SMTP server has rejected address
September 1, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Johnston,
I’ve spoken to Mrs. Wordsworth about Melanie, and she is as concerned about her as I am. When you talked to Melanie last month, did you speak with her directly, or communicate via email? I am very concerned that someone has not only stolen her online identity but also that foul play may be at work.
The Blaine County Sheriff’s office has not been helpful. Could you please confirm that Melanie is all right? I know Mrs. Wordsworth would appreciate it as much as I would.
Thank you,
Sharon Cooper
See More from Nancy Johnston
September 6, 2018
From: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Cooper,
First, I have confirmed with Mrs. Wordsworth that I may communicate with you about Melanie.
Second, I did speak to Melanie on the telephone as well as corresponded with her via email. I have no reason to suspect that the person I spoke to was not her. She indicated that she does not wish any further contact with you. I suggest you respect her wishes.
Regards,
Nancy Johnston, Esq.
Probate Attorney
Tucson Lawyers, LLC
See More from Sharon Cooper
September 10, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Johnston,
Thank you for taking my call this morning. I hope I’ve conveyed to you the gravity of the situation. I agree that arranging a call with Mrs. Wordsworth and Melanie is the best course of action, so Mrs. Wordsworth can confirm it is Melanie, and that she’s all right.
Thank you,
Sharon Cooper
See More from Nancy Johnston
September 24, 2018
From: doublescooper@me.com
To: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Johnston,
Mrs. Wordsworth called me after she met with you last week. It sounds as if she wasn’t sure whether the person she spoke to was Melanie or not, and I’m not convinced either.
I’ve decided to go to Idaho and check on Melanie for everyone’s peace of mind. I’ll let both of you know what I find out.
Thank you for your efforts in this matter.
Sharon Cooper
See More from Sharon Cooper
September 24, 2018
From: nancy.johnston@tucsonlawyersllc.com
To: doublescooper@me.com
Re: Melanie Wordsworth
Dear Ms. Cooper,
I strongly urge you to leave Melanie Wordsworth alone. When Mrs. Wordsworth and I spoke with the younger Ms. Wordsworth, she made it very clear she does not wish any further contact with you. The elder Mrs. Wordsworth did not express any doubts about her daughter’s identity during this call, and I believe you have created unnecessary confusion and fear in my client.
I advise you to have no further contact with either Melanie or Mimi Wordsworth. Continued communication will be considered harassment and measures will be taken accordingly.
Sincerely,
Nancy Johnston, Esq.
Probate Attorney
Tucson Lawyers, LLC
See More from Sharon Cooper
LETTER, CRUMPLED IN TRASHCAN, ROOM 214, BEST WESTERN LODGE, MAIN STREET, KETCHUM, IDAHO
October 23, 2018
Dear Mrs. Wordsworth,
I’m writing to you from a motel in Sun Valley. The mountains surrounding your home town are stunning—there’s already snow on the peaks, and the weather report is for below-freezing temperatures for the next week.
As you know, I came here to find Melanie and verify she’s all right. I know your attorney advised me not to, but Melanie’s strange behavior has been of grave concern to me for several months. Her lack of contact with you made me concerned as well, as the Melanie I know loved you and felt a strong sense of duty and responsibility toward you.
I’ve been in town for two days, but haven’t yet gone to Melanie’s house. Frankly, I’m scared to go up there. I’m worried I’ll find the woman who was my friend, but isn’t my friend anymore, as much as I’m worried about finding someone there pretending to be Mel, or finding no one there. I’m not sure which is the worst outcome. Obviously I want her to be OK, for her sake and yours, but—and forgive me for saying this to you—I almost want there to be an imposter because then it would mean my friend wouldn’t have abandoned me.
LETTER, POSTMARKED KETCHUM, ID
October 23, 2018
Dear Mrs. Wordsworth,
I’m writing to you from a motel in Sun Valley. The mountains surrounding your home town are truly beautiful. The summits are already covered with snow, and more is expected, especially at the higher elevations where your old house is. Melanie always spoke of her love of this landscape, and I can see why you might miss it, although I’m sure life without snow is easier in Tucson.
I’ve been in town for a few days, just to get a sense of the place before I go see Melanie. The people here are friendly and welcoming, more so than I expected. I’ve gone to some of the places Melanie used to talk about in her posts—the galleries and coffee shops, and of course the town book store. No one remembers seeing her for a while, but then some of the people I talked to said they were new and didn’t yet know all the regulars.
I haven’t gone to the Sheriff, figuring they wouldn’t tell me anything anyhow. This is ultimately between Melanie and me. I just need to find out what happened. I know your attorney thinks I’m crazy. Maybe you do too. Maybe I am, but I cannot let this go.
I’ll write again after I see Melanie.
Be well,
Sharon
LETTER, POSTMARKED KETCHUM, ID
November 2, 2018
Dear Mrs. Wordsworth,
I’m sorry it took me so long to write again. By the time I was ready to drive up to your old house, a blizzard closed the roads. Someone told me I could get up there if I had a four-wheel drive, so I had to switch rental cars, but the company didn’t have any four wheelers until the weekend. Then I needed to find someone who could help me with the chains. I’ve never driven in heavy snow before. We can get several storms a year in New York, but the plows always clear it before anyone needs to drive in it, or at least, that’s been true for me.
I can see why you miss your old home. Once I got up there, the view knocked my socks off. It’s so gorgeous, all those pines on the steep slopes, surrounded by snowcapped peaks. I grew up in Manhattan and thought I knew what “tall” was, until I saw the mountains around Melanie’s house.
I’m sure you’re wondering what I found out when I finally got there. Melanie—I have to admit it is Melanie—is fine. I never meant to frighten you by speculating it wasn’t her. It’s just that the woman I met at that house is nothing like my dear online friend. It looks like her—or the pictures of herself she posted online. The house looks like her house, judging from the pictures she posted. There’s a cat that looks like her cat, and the dog, and a tortoise who, she said, belonged to your father when he was a boy. Is that true? I’ve seen pictures of the tortoise before, but I can’t recall Melanie ever saying it was so old.
When Melanie answered the door, she didn’t recognize me. She’s never seen me, because I hate photos of myself and use a picture of my dog as my avatar. (An avatar is an image you use to represent yourself on the Internet.) When I explained who I was, she slammed the door in my face, but I caught it. The bad news is, the door broke my hand. The good news is, she let me into the house, got me some ice, and we talked. She asked why I’d come, and I explained that I simply wanted to be sure she was OK, because I was worried about identity theft and worse. She said I was delusional and turned on the computer and showed me her wall—which is a thing online where people post pictures and information about themselves and the issues they care about. Melanie scrolled back through several years’ worth of material, claiming that her views had never changed.
I swear I don’t remember ever seeing those sort of posts on Melanie’s wall prior to last spring. I asked why she’d blocked me, and she said it was because my posts had changed. She said she’d felt like we shared the same values, but then saw opinions from me that were the antithesis of what she’d come to expect. At first, she said, she thought my account had been hacked, until I began asking her in PMs about what she was posting. I showed her my wall, and my posts going back for the whole time we’d known each other, and she said she’d never seen anything like that from me before last spring.
You probably don’t know what to make of all this, and I envy you your ignorance of the Internet. This experience has left me deeply confused and disturbed at how I went from laughing over your daughter’s online crusades to sitting in an ER getting my hand wrapped in a cast. Melanie drove me to the hospital, by the way. She’s a decent person, in person, even though she and I couldn’t disagree more about pretty much every issue of our time. It’s as if the Melanie I knew, and the Sharon she knew, were ghosts. These shades befriended each of us, made us believe we’d found a kindred spirit, and then drew back the veil to reveal the true self, each to the other. There couldn’t be a better way to drive a wedge between people. The real Melanie and I parted amicably, though our friendship is gone—dissipated like the ghosts of ourselves.
I wished your daughter well when we said goodbye, and I told her to call you.
Sharon